Lets Talk About spaceshipsss.

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 15:31:29 GMT

http://MAHMAHMARISSA.livejournal.com/

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 15:04:06 GMT

honestly i think livejournal is the biggest waste of time ever, but considering that no one reads this i figured i'd acutally write something meaningful, for once in a very long time.

I don't know whats happening to me, honestly i'm so confused with my life. I can't just settle down and not care what people think, and just love who I am and who i've become in the past year. I shouldn't need a boy to make me feel better, yes i know that. I don't even know what to say about boys at this point, I don't know where I stand with basically all of them.

I hate that my mom thinks i'm turning "goth" not like she knows what "scene" is even if i try and explain it. not like i'm really "scene" anyway. I like who i am, i'm just me. Yes I've changed alot from freshman year, but honestly if i still looked like i did freshman year i think i would kill myself. I hate how I looked like basically every girl in our school, how everyone shops at the excat same stores and get the exact same clothes. I just like being different? even though i'm really not.

I think myspace is ruining my life, and i'm serious, not like i'll ever get rid of it, but still. Someone came up to me the other day and asked me if i was mahmahmarissa, i'm sorry but no. you don't do that. and even though at the time i thought it was funny, its not. I mean to be so called "big" on myspace is not something to be proud of. Like really what does it mean, that all these people look at your myspace, and worship you, or make fun of you, or want to be you. Even though they have no idea who you really are, all they know is what you look like from your picture. and thats it. its completely retarded. you have no idea who people are from myspace, and thats what i hate. I also hate that i talk to all these boys from myspace that don't live anywhere near me, okay so NJ but still, you say the only people you'll add is people that live close, but just because they live in NJ doesn't mean you'll ever see them. I get so fucking attached to people, THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW. and i need to fucking stop. I mean sure its nice to have new friends and thats fine with me. but idk i'm just retarded. I mean honestly the only person i'll ever meet from myspace is colleen, and thats because shes like another me that lives in mass. everyone else i have ever talked to through myspace first and talk to outside of the internet i will never meet, unless its some strange thing that we see each other somewhere. which most likely will never happen. alsgjfasdf it makes me so mad that i even talk to people i will never see from myspace. and this is why i think myspace ruins lives.

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 00:47:23 GMT

ILYA.

Shoot You In The Face.

Wed, 31 May 2006 22:06:12 GMT

Its fucking ridic that you can go from being in the best mood ever to the worst one ever in a matter of seconds. I don't understand why people are such big assholes to me when I'm literally nice to everyone. All I want is for people to be happy. What the fuck is wrong with me. I just need someone to be nice to me & not freak out. Why do I even try anymore to be liked by everyone, I do NOTHING to deserve the shit I get from people. NOTHING. I used to be so happy all the time. The fucking year has been the complete worst for me, I just need it to end and I need it to be summer. I need to get away from fucking Montgomery and to make friends in other towns. I guess today just pushed me over the edge, I have no idea what people want from me, or never the less what I want from people. I just want friends that are nice. People that actually care about me. I can't fucking take any of this shit anymore.

(this is all -Carly&Camille).

Fri, 12 May 2006 01:55:54 GMT

stupid shit.
i fucking hate this.

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 00:07:13 GMT

I've been really upset the past week.
about everything,everything is getting to me
& making me mad or upset.
i hate it alot.
half the time i feel lonely
cause it seems like EVERYONE has a boyfriend
or is like obbsessed with a boy.
and i don't have that.
i'm not doing good in school at all.
i don't know.
i say this alot lately but i really hate my life.
don't get me wrong i love my friends and all.
but idk i feel like somethings missing.
god, i hate feeling like this so much.

♥

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 22:30:51 GMT

1. I'm so glad we are biffles you have no idea
how much i love you, srlzy. without you i have
no idea what i would do every weekend, or DAY
as a matter of fact. You are the most random;
funniest; weirdest girl i know, and thats why
i love you so much.

2. Okay, i know nothing will happen between us,
but i am in LOVE with you, you are the hottest
kid ever. the end.

3. I wish you lived near me, we would so be BFF.
i feel like i know you and thats amazing. I love
our messages to each other, it basically makes my
life. <3!

4. Sometimes you get annoying, but honestly, I LOVE YOU.
There are sometimes when i just want to kill you,
but you are an amazing person, and i couldn't live
without you truly.

5. YOU ARE A FUCKING DICK I HATE YOU, thanks for
making me cry asshole.

6. If you lived by me i would marry you. You are
so nice, and aldkjfsalfj, move here.

7. I will always have a crush on you, ALWAYS.
idk why, but i do. I hate that we never talk
anymore i hate that all we do is say hi to each
other in the hallways, i just wish things were
like they were last year, i miss you.

8. YOU ARE ANNOYING.

9. I'm glad we became good friends this year,
i laugh at you, cause you are funny. everything you
say makes me laugh, i love how you get so excited
over the littlest things, and i love how i talk like you.
i love you.

10. OMG I LOVE YOU, & going to the movies
with you, I'm glad we are close now, i don't want
it any other way, i love you.

♥

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 22:08:00 GMT

I'm losing you and its effortless.
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground.
In the throw around.
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down.
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves.
Everyone knows I'm in over my head.

i've been in weird moods lately.
i say "I hate my life" alot. I don't mean it.
there are just alot of things going on right now
in my head, and i can't handle sometimes.
& I really hate how i really want a boyfriend.

i've decided not to be friends with someone.
cause he's a big dick.

Princeton was alot of fun,
for once i had friends other
than Carly & Camille [whom i love].

Camille's Casa

i love my friends alot.

♥

Fri, 10 Mar 2006 22:47:31 GMT

Eyeliner and a famous designer brand
Your mind is a moment to be stamped
Expressed tried and true
Just look, look at you
So pretty and perfect
Due to your steady hand
I know where that make up will land
Apply that lip-gloss like it’s your job
You know you’re his heartthrob

so, alot has happened.
i have so many pictures.
if you want to see them then go to my myspace.

Snowball was alot of fun,
The Lock-in was amazing.
basically i love my friends.

I want love.

Steph's party tomorrow.
ohhh yeah.

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 01:17:12 GMT

omg, the concert was the most amazing thing ever.
<33333333333333333333333
i <3 carly, liz, jeff & nick.

& that cute boy that waved to me!
:]

no pictures, cause cameras
werent allowed. alsjfksd :(

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 22:47:50 GMT

Everythings been okay.
The concert is this weekend;
so is Steph's Party.
It should be a good weekend.

Valentine's Day is coming up.
I hate it, alskfjsdf.
I need a valentine.

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 02:00:59 GMT

today was amazing.
i'll post pictures soon.

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 22:58:19 GMT

I LOVE YOU LEX.
i'll miss you.
♥

Sat, 21 Jan 2006 22:18:47 GMT

Egg day.
we are pretty cool.

last night was pretty much good.
quentin, "rod" and jason were with us
most of the night.
we watch wedding crashers.
it was okay.
Slept over carlys.

i'm in better moods.
which is good.
i still need something that will
make me happy and i can hold on to.

♥

:]

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 21:53:23 GMT

Fuck boys.
I only like basically two on the whole planet.
maybe 3. the rest of them can go fuck them selves.

by the way, i still hate how i give up on things.

♥

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 21:10:46 GMT

I give up on life so easily.
& i hate it.

One minute i will so happy.
then the next i get so upset.
i don't understand it.

half the time i don't even know what to do.
i really just need something that
i can hold on to, and be happy about.
now,
lets just see how long it takes to find that.

♥

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 19:06:06 GMT

Its Christmas Eve, and everythings perfect.
Yesterday was one of the best days in awhile.
I saw Louis, thank god. It made me so happy.
&hung out with Christopher, Chris, Alex, Jon & Carly.
god i love them all.

My friends rock, & so do the presents they gave me.

Tomorrows Christmas.
& i'm happy.

♥

Sun, 11 Dec 2005 19:57:14 GMT

i haven't updated in forever.
Alot has happened.

The Lock-in was amazing.
i love CKITW, end of story.

12 Days till Louis comes.

Feb. 11th- Hellogoodbye, Panic! At the Disco & The Acadmey Is..

I got all my Christmas gifts at the mall today.
They are amazing.

Oh, yeah PS- I LOVE MY FRIENDS♥

♥

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 23:09:29 GMT

skaljflasdjf

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 23:09:19 GMT

kjldsajfsaldjf

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 23:09:08 GMT

adsfkasdljkfasldfj

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 19:38:57 GMT

Went to rice's with carly yesterday.
it was really fun, & REALLY COLD.
her cousin thinks Carly's weird.
hahah.. she is.

Camille came over before Homecoming.
We chilled, and ate alot.
we're pigs, so what!?
then camille's mom came, we took pictures.
then left.

Me and camille are cool, we wore crowns!
(me-light up plastic crown)
(camille-burger king crown)
to the dance. everyone loved them.
:]

overall the dance was fun.
pictures laterrr.

♥

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 00:29:12 GMT

god i fucking hate being in such a bad mood.
like i don't understand why i have to be.
i hate it, i hate being like this.
but i can't help it..

11-24 homecoming game & Thanksgiving
11-25 babysitting with ARLYN
11-26 homecoming dance

♥

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 20:59:19 GMT

Candyland is the most intense game EVUHHHH.
i love playing board games in lunch.
& ROB PLAYED WITH US.

gym sucks this year.
a half a day of school left.

11-23 powder puff
11-24 homecoming game & Thanksgiving
11-25 babysitting with ARLYN
11-26 homecoming dance

♥

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 03:37:15 GMT

this is the best picture evuhhh.
boys still suck.

cause i'm black.
& i'm young.
& my hat's real low.

Excellent nosh, Petunia.

♥